Riding the Waves

When the effects of infertility hit you, they hit like a ton of bricks. It’s like an immediate effect in your air bubble that kills a little part of you, while everyone around you is still living. When it hits me, I feel paralyzed until I vent out that emotion. Whether I am sitting in a classroom full of students, in a meeting, out to dinner, at
church, or even in the still of my own home, infertility comes on like a wave of rushing water, and for a minute, or a day, or sometimes a whole week, it drowns me. And suddendly, when I least expect it, the tide draws out and I am me again.

I don’t know how many times I have given an analogy for what I feel, but I do know that when I compare my hurt to something tangible, it makes it “okay” rather, easier to see the end of it all.

It reminds me of those movies where the whole world is moving rapidly, and I am standing still. I am standing in the center and everyone else’s life is spinning. Everything is going too fast to touch or to really soak up, but I am there… In the middle…the unnoticed part of the world- watching and waiting. About a year ago I made a pledge to myself to work on me and to be happy with what I have been given. I've pretty much taken a time out for the last few months and I can definitely feel it! In refelcting this morning, I realized that even though I was hit with a wave of emotions recently, I have learned the most, especially in just the last year of my journey.

First I learned that pretending like I am happy without children, allows me to be happy for the time being. Sometimes I have to pretend to survive. I can't just stay home and have a pity party when I feel like it. I have to grow up, smile and get on with life. I have to to be happy. And when I say HAPPY, I mean truly, deeply happy for others, watching their lives blossom. And for someone struggling with infertility, things that others don’t think twice about can be struggles that have become big accomplishments for me. Some of those are: going to kids parties, buying baby gifts, planning events around new parents/babies, looking at pictures of other peoples’ children, being happy for those buying bigger homes because they have “outgrown their starter home” from having children. It’s life. And everyone is evolving. There is nothing I can do to stop that- nor would I want to, and I think others who do not suffer with infertility think we do— HEAR THIS: We don't want you to suffer, it’s just that we want someone, anyone to understand us—and for us that means being in OUR shoes (not kind-of in our shoes…but living it currently-- because kind of in our shoes means you don't understand-- and that's okay-- please hear that it's okay that you don't, we still love you!)

The second thing I have learned over the past year is that by pretending I was happy, I discovered that it’s okay to be happy and NOT PRETEND (and that maybe I was happy because I was grateful for the life I have). It’s okay to struggle with infertility and feel happy without children. Let me repeat: WHEN YOU GET THERE, (it took me 7 yrs of marriage to arrive) IT’S OKAY TO BE HAPPY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE-- God wants us to be happy, not at any cost, but because he loves us. And that means discerning His Will in our lives. Just because we WANT something, doesn’t mean it’s good for us NOW—and comparing ourselves to God, we are kind-of like those 2 year olds with our “Give it to me NOW” attitudes! But that’s (to me) what Joy in the Journey means. I learned that when I focus on what I have, rather than what I want, my wants get smaller, and then I had to ALLOW myself to feel that way. I had to admit to myself that I am okay with what I have.

The third thing that I learned was that NO MATTER how “okay” I am on my journey, that I am going to wake up some days and feel the hurt. A good friend also on the journey once told me that bottling up those hurts won’t make me any better (think of it like poison or bad food) those hurts have to, FIRST be acknowledged, and SECOND be voiced. I learned that I can’t be afraid of the nasty part of infertility. If I want to truly conquer it (kind of like an addiction)—I have to be able to tackle it HEAD ON—Look it in the face, accept it, and vent it out in a safe place, such as: calling a friend who struggles, blogging or writing about it, working out, or doing something that makes me feel beautiful (pedicures, big earrings, and spending time with those that love me). It was a God- thing that I met this awesome lady 10 years ago. He had a feeling we would need each other!

I also learned that not everyone is where I am and I am not where everyone else is, and that’s okay. And as much as we love our friends, the truth is—it’s hurtful to compare your success with someone else’s struggle and I would ask you keep that in mind with your friends who struggle with infertility. The very best thing you could for them would be to pray that they find peace and pray that they are able to discern God’s will in this challenge and that they may be able to overcome bouts of bitterness and envy.

I think what I learned most in the past year is that it’s okay to forget for a moment “how long you’ve been trying” and it’s okay to forget for a moment your "cycle day" and to just live. Because while everyone else’s life is riding the high tide, you are getting older, and you are missing out on the waves of YOUR LIFE: the life that was designed for you. And above all, I learned that it’s okay to forget everything that I just wrote and sometimes I have to write it all again to remember that I am going to be just fine. It’s okay to go all the way through this “already thought of” realization to remember that I am an overcomer.



Waves of Grief


There are big waves and little waves,
Green waves and blue.
Waves you can jump over,
Waves you dive through,
Waves that rise up
Like a great water wall,
Waves that swell softly
And don't break at all,
Waves that can whisper,
Waves that can roar,
And tiny waves that run at you
Running on the shore.


Eleanor Farjeon

Testing, Testing 1-2-3

Testing is the one word that describes my life right now. Seriously y'all.

We're talking testing at work- in the form of getting ready for the LOVELY STAAR Test, the kids-- testing every livin' nerve in my body right now, mock testing that we do just for doing (you get the point).

We're talking life. Life is testing me right now. And it has pretty much won lately. You all know I was doing so great at Jamie Eason's live fit program and eating health(ier) and making better choices. Then I decided I would detox from my lifestyle meltdown, and drink a crap ton of veggies 3x a day and eat 1x a day (fish) well that totally last like 2 days then I had mexican food and a skinny mojito with my work peeps. So life is testing me because I am having such a hard time getting back on track. I lost all the water weight I gained from Valentines day to the last week of February (because I was totally pigging out and my hormones were OFF. THE. CHARTS. after my crazy 62 day cycle-- yes I said 62 days of hormonally cray cray Annie). I am looking forward to taking some me time this weekend to get my life right so I can re do phase 2

We're talking testing at the fertility clinic to get back on track-- blood work here and there...waiting on results....testing new products and such...and testing everything else under the sun to see why my body is defiant and hostile.

So that's what's going on. I am catching life at all angles right now and LIFE is testing me. I feel like, when looking back, I have failed the test-- I have been frustrated at work, cheated on my diet, negleted my charting and avoided finding out what the next step would be for our fertily. But when I take a moment to realize the baby steps I have taken, I noticed that I kind of aced the test.

I moved, started a new job, and had surgery all in the matter of 4 weeks. I adjusted and met new friends and continued to work out and eat health(ier) 80% of the time even though I was depressed while my husband worked nights and I worked days. My husband had surgery, we bought a car- which made up for him working nights, my dog nearly died--

******PUMP THE BREAKS---OMG I just busted out laughing at myself--- I sound like a bad country song LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as good news goes, I am looking forward to my new fertility plan: taking pregnitude 2x a day in my drink (probably will take it in my SPARK). This natural concoction will help regulate my hormones and will help my brain tell my ovaries what to do-- it can also help me lose weight-- the weight I should be losing for eating healthy and working out IF I don't cheat! I will also be taking compounded progesterone made with grapeseed oil via a 3 minute THICK shot on cyle days 18 20 and 22 (administered by my one and only). This will help to remind my ovaries to release the folicles that are growing! Hubby is also doing 100x's better at checking my charts and is the "sticker put on" personnel;he is also helping me remember to record my information. Hopefully my body will go back to normal. I got a fresh chart at the doctor. This will be my 3rd set of charts to complete

If my ovarian reserve test comes back with poor results, meaning my eggs are bad or old, or I do not have many left, we will jump right into the high powered drugs like we were doing in 2011 with self administered shots and HCG along with pregnatude and the Progesterone. If my ovarian reserve test comes back normal, we will give it a few months on just the natural stuff (the least amount of times I have to take fertility drugs, the better for my future).

If I do not have success by this summer, we are looking at a few options: ovarian reconstructive surgery or acceptance. And since we have been in a place of acceptance the last 6 months or so, I am sure we will live life to the fullest and see what God brings our way. It may be a trip to Rome or possibly a baby to adopt, but until we are there, in that moment, I can't say what we may do. All I know is we are happy and hopeful.

See, I think I did ace the test. I got through it. I held my head high. I learned something. I made it people. I survived. I am totally ready for a relaxing day at the beach, a spa day, summer workouts, a good run, (another skinny mojito would totally do just fine as well) but I survived!

I am taking it one test at a time. One moment at a time until I succeed. And I got a new hair cut....

***NEWS BREAK***

In other MORE important news...

HAVE YOU SEEN MY MUSCLES? Yea. I'm kinda proud of them! Don't judge me- ALL teacher's live like this during the week-- the guest bathroom is a DISATER and cleaning waits until Saturday, or Sunday, or Spring Break :)

Jamie Eason Phase 1 recap

So in December I began Phase 1 of the Jamie Eason LiveFit program-- you can watch her intro video if you click here

I started the program during the holidays like a dummy-- AND IT WAS HARD (while all my coworkers ate treats and we had party, after party, after party....then.....On December 25, my hubby got sick and had emergency surgery. 

 

That especially threw me for a loop. Although during the month of December-- through all of that- I stayed on pretty much on track for about 3 weeks. In January, I was off track 2 weeks. Basically, I did week 1-2 of the program, messed up, so I did week 1-2 again, messed up, took a break, then jumped back in to week 3-4. SO-I am totally back on track and doing better! I just finished the first phase (weeks 1-4 on Sunday 2/2/14).

I did weigh myself before phase 1 and after phase 1- my weight did not change much (-.5 lbs) but my physique and inches did. In fact, some people gain in phase 1 because you are growing muscles-- but all that work shows in phase 3 when you are doing a lot of cardio and your fat starts to melt, those muscles really start popping out! I did tell myself after phase 1, that I would not be returning to the scale until the end of phase 2 (4 weeks) and the end of phase 3 (8 weeks from now) just because it plays with your mind, especially when you feel great, but the number hasn't moved anywhere but UP! CLICK HERE to see what phase 1 is all about!

This is a different program-- it's not like counting calories and doing a little cardio-- and if that's where you are, that is great! I think as long as we are moving and making better choices, we are headed in the right direction! This is all about changing your body through phases (muscle building, muscle sculpting, leaning out) and since I am in a different place now, this program caught my eye. In 2012 I fell in love with running and paleo, then I turned into a strength trainer mid 2013. Something about lifting weights makes me feel strong, when everything else in my life is falling apart. When my infertility makes me feel like I  am not a real woman, weights make me feel like a powerhouse

Biggest challenges: working out when no one else was-- it could have been freezing rain, and I went. Also, lunch with co-workers...Chickfila and a diet coke looks BOMB.COM when you are eating lean protein, complex carbs, veggies and water.

Biggest surprise: learning how to cook healthy versions of my favorite treats with my hubby, like skinny chicken enchiladas 

enjoying my Sunday grocery trips, and discovering new muscles-- in shirts.....

I know right!?!?

Just saw my shoulder muscles for like the first time ever this week!!!! 

Didn't realize they were there until hubby pointed them out! Hello shoulder boulders LOL!

Biggest goals: to lose 10 lbs by the end of phase 2 (now that I have added cardio in 4x a week) and to only stick with PLANNED cheat meals (Valentine's day cheat will be at Spaghetti Warehouse mmmmm)

Some of my staples through this program were:

Jamie Eason Turkey Muffins
Jamie Eason Cinnamon Swirl Protein Bread
MRM Whey Protein
Egg whites and Ezekiel Bread
3 Bean Chicken Chili
Organic Turkey Spaghetti with Barilla Plus noodles

Here is a sample day of what I eat , and I change my menu by the week- and if you CLICK HERE you can see the entire food list.

• Breakfast: 5 egg whites/ 1 piece of Ezekiel with natural PB/Advocare Spark
• AM snack: Chobani Plain yogurt with Raspberries and a little truvia 
• Lunch: Chicken, grilled, with a sweet potato, and salad or green beans
• In between snack because I get home later some days (larabar or uberbar)
• PM snack: 2 turkey meatloaf muffins/ Advocare Spark or plain rice cake with PB and carob and banana- just depends on if I want a sweet treat or not!
• Post-workout: MRM whey protein shake 8oz
• Dinner: 3 bean chicken chili with avocado and cilantro

I encourage you to look through Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer Program- EVEN IF you are a beginner! She details out the workouts, with pictures and videos, and she gives you a sample menu with added options on her attached food list.

I realized that all it took was a little time planning and scheduling meals, shopping and cooking on Sunday, and I was successful at staying on track when stress came my way. Now I can tell within 30 minutes to an hour when I am eating off plan (my tummy hurts and my energy drops).
Life of a prepper:

I am excited about the next 4 weeks as I enter phase 2, and hopefully this phase, I do a little better- since it isn't the holiday season!!

Progress pics- The picture on the left is Dec. 2 the day I started/The picture on the right is the last week of January:

Throwback Thursday/ New mindset November

Hi. I've been gone a long while- so let me catch you up--

1.Hubby transferred to Houston

2. I got hired at another district/ moved and started at my new school within a two week timeframe

3. I had surgery to have some cysts, lesions, and my partially blocked tubes cleaned out so that we can continue to try for a baby

4. I turned 30

5. I fell off the band wagon of health during August and some of September (6 weeks) but only gained back about 4 lbs! 

So I'm just now comfortable with everything changing to start blogging again! I've missed the blog world oh so much!!

Bye bye to my classroom of 5 years! And surprisingly I cried that day!

And here is what my new school/ classroom looks like:

I am enjoying being a bulldog now, but it was a rocky transition! I'm finally learning all the roads and stores in my new town too! 

But I go home often to visit! 

So now that I've caught you up--- here's what stirred me up tonight:

So, everybody knows it's TBT (throwback Thursday) where you post old pics and reminisce.... Here's what I found in my picture drawer: 

 And then I realized. I have changed. When I saw these photos, I ran into our bedroom. Woke up my napping hubby, and yelled- hey look!! I really don't look this way anymore- holy cheese cake - I have changed- OMG!!!

Although my journey has been tough, it's not over. My journey is a little more challenging than most, since my body acts insulin resistant, among other symptoms of PCOS- but it's okay- because I'm learning along the way-

How to make healthy organic smoothies:

How to cook healthy when I'm alone instead of driving thru somewhere: 

And most of all, I am learning so much about who that person was, and how much I've gained! 

I've gained muscle

Dedication, day after day in the gym- lifting and doing cardio

And self confidence...

 I've gained a realization that I am worth every choice because "I decide" I am strong, worth it, beautiful inside  regardless of my life choices, and I am going to mess up but it's okay!

When I look back at the old me- I see a lot of pain, hurt, and swolleness that allowed food to fill the empty hole in my life of not having a child. And as I looked at those TBT photos today- I have to give it to myself, (as hubby always says) "You're healthier than you've been in a really long time babe."

Because now--mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually... I am. I have to do all that is in me, for me, and if along the way baby Castillo pops up, then awesome. And sadly, if not, then I can live with no regrets- knowing I did all that I could to be healthy. 

Here's to the journey! We begin the fertility ride again soon, so please keep us in your prayers! 

Xoxo

- Annie B

PS - duke and ruby are adjusting well!

Favorite Things

I figured since today was the first official day of summer, and it is the 10th of the month (okay it's not the 10th any more-- I'm totes on summer break and have been shopping for new skinny clothes for Vegas --busy,so I am JUST NOW publishing this! But if it is any consolation, I did type it on the 10th) so why not start a new tradition? Godly Gaudy Girl's Top 10 Favorite Things! Every 10th of the month, I will post a new "Favorite Things" list! Enjoy!! Share!! Add to my list in the comments below!! (This month, they are not in any particular order).

10. Brita Bottle- I am loving it! Hubby bought it for me since I drink like a case at work/case at home each week! He told me I was basically ruining the planet. It has a filter and is dishwasher safe! I fill it up with cold water from the water fountain at school, and the nasty chlorine tasting water, is all of a sudden as refreshing as bottled water! 

9. Fruit Punch Spark- Spark is an AdvoCare product. It fuels your workouts and your mornings. Every morning of the year, I used to go to Sonic to get a large diet coke. Not any more! I make my Spark. It controls my cravings for breads, sweets, and soda. I mix it in my blender bottle with ice and water and YUM! 

8. ItWorks Body Wraps- My friend Karla sells ItWorks Body wraps. I have been using a the wraps about 2 or 3 each month, or whenever I have an all out cheat weekend filled with alcohol, fast food, and candy! They remove the toxins from your body, and the results from the wraps last as long as you keep working out and eating healthy. Before I even started working out and eating clean and wrapping, my mid section was a 41 (that was late March). Now it has been 3 months of working out, eating right, taking AdvoCare, and wrapping. Now my mid section is 35 inches-- Not perfect, but progress! That's a 6 inch loss in just my stomach area! I've kept off my inches from my first wrap, and lost more. With anything, when you continue a lifestyle of toxic food, you will not see results. I just wrapped my thighs last night and had amazing results! Starting measurements:

above knee: 20

mid thigh: 24 1/2

upper thigh: 28

10 hours after wrapping:

above knee: 19

mid thigh: 23 1/2

upper thigh: 27

*you can wrap every 72 hours, or 1 x a week is recommended. Focusing on specific areas for 1 box at a time is also recommended. 4 wraps are in each box. Contact Karla! 

7. Champion Gear Workout Shorts from Target- Awesome is the only word to describe. THEY DO NOT RIDE UP. They are comfortable, and are 18.99. I can wear a large and I am a pant size 14. They have a high waist panel and are light, dri-fit, and come to about an inch above the knee. They make them in 3 lengths too!

6. Neutrogena On the Spot Acne Treatment: Works like a BOSS! While you are at Target getting workout shorts ^^^ pick up this spot treatment! I apply it in the morning, prior to make-up, and at night prior to bed. It doesn't dry out your face and pimple size is diminished in 24 hours.  LOVE!!!

5. Nutella. Need I say more?? I was skeptical about it, didn't like it, and all of a sudden my friend Chasity forced it upon me and NOW, I am addicted. It kind of works like that too. Hubs made fun of me for eating it with a spoon. The next day, I get home from work, and guess what's out on the counter-- empty bag of pizza rolls, and MY NUTELLA!  (He is really gross I know) but now he is addicted! 

4. Maybeline 24 hour Concealer- works awesome, DRYS (which is a major problem with most concealers, so your eyeliner RUNS) and covers GREAT! Good price!

3. Extra Sugar Free Gum- LEMON BAR FLAVOR- it speaks for itself. Awesome exchange for dessert, without the calories! 

2. Banana Boat Protective Tanning Dry Oil- smells great, has SPF, makes your skin awesomely shiny, and accelerates outdoor tanning! Walgreen's was actually running a BOGO 1/2 off when I bought mine! 

1. Miranda Lambert Wines- My favorite all time wine line and "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" White wine is TOTES YUMMY! Specs in Texas carries it-- should be in the Texas wines section, or if you are too lazy like me- ask the clerk (job security)!! 

*Everything is linked up, so just click on the pink titles to see pictures/stores where located!!

Fat Blaster Cardio Interval Workout

Via SkinnyMeg's blog it is "Workout Wednesday." I am linking up with her page and posting one of my favorite cardio, fat blasting workouts. Currently, I am doing the below workout Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, while doing weights and calisthenics on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I was running, but I found that this was a better calorie blaster and booty shaper, PLUS it is HOT as H-E- double-- hockey sticks- in TX right now!

Warm up
0:00-4:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 1.0 incline
Begin
4:00-7:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
7:00-8:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
8:00-11:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
11:00-12:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
12:00-15:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
15:00-16:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
16:00-19:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
19:00-20:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
20:00-23:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
23:00-24:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
24:00-27:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
27:00-28:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
28:00-31:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
31:00-32:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
32:00-35:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
35:00-36:00/ 6.0 speed run/ 1.0 incline
36:00-39:00/ 3.5 speed walk/ 9.0 incline
Cool down
39:00-45:00/ 3.0 speed walk/ 0.0 incline

*Inclines and speeds vary with treadmill*

On my treadmill, I have a setting

 that allows for "Quick Elevation" or "Quick Speed" so it easier than manually putting in the speeds and elevations each time! I just hit "Quick Elevation- 9.0" and BOOM-- it does it for me!

Although it seems like an easy workout, it is interval training, so the walk on 9.00 allows you to catch your breath, and the run on 6.0 allows you to push it!

****WARNING- you will be totes dripping with sweat when done, but your glutes and hammies will be looking awesome in NO TIME! I am burning anywhere between 400-500 calories, depending on duration. If you cannot go the entire 45 minutes, try it for 25 minutes, and work your way up! We all start SOMEWHERE! Before you know it, you might even increase your time. I found that this also helped me with my runs-- as far as min/mile when I got back on the trail.

TIP ALERT: I have even finished off my 45:00 of cardio with some push-ups, sit-ups, and squats.

Don't forget to S  T  R  E  T  C  H!

Comment below if you try it and LOVE it!!!

Breaking the Scale

So I have been thinking for some time about the scale: literally my worst enemy in this world! I know that I have an addiction with the scale and I have wanted to write about my addiction for some time, but lacked the courage to tell the full truth on my blog. After reading Mama Laughlin this morning and Skinny Meg- I decided that if they are 25-30 lbs smaller than me, and had the guts to write about their number obsessions, well then, so can I!

I don't know where it stems from, but I have a habit. A BADDD habit (insert confession): I weigh myself not only multiple times a week, but also multiple times a day. That is not healthy WHAT SO EVES! IT must stop. Mama Laughlin discussed this morning via her blog that she was in 2 lbs cycles or 4 lb cycles (depending on her weight—she gained and lost the same pounds after eating clean all week and going totes crazy on the weekend) – WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO. I feel that I am on a merry go round of scales. Depending on the time of day, the day of the week, what I have eaten, how hard I have kicked butt at cardio or weights, how much I drink--- my weight changes—hello, so does everyone’s!

I accumulate my success with a number. That's 100% wrong. I give advice to others to not do that, in hopes to shield them from the obsessive weighing habit I have.
I know it is unhealthy, and I can see where this is going.

So today, it stops.

I think 1 x a month is sufficient enough to measure and weigh. Other than that, I am sabotaging myself. I let whatever number that pops up at 5:45 am, dictate how I feel the rest of the day.
Today when I get home, I am removing the scales (yes I have two) and I am going to continue on plan. The 1st of every month, I will weigh in and measure. Other than that, I will whole heartedly accept the compliments I am getting from melting those inches off and building lean muscle tone—instead of feeling that “yea, but I gained 3 mystery pounds since yesterday" feeling!

You might, at this point, be in total shock from reading this post, or you might be right where I am and for the first time, understanding that there is only so many times to convince myself that I am "keeping myself accountable" by weighing in every morning-- the reality is, I am just a prisoner to the scale-- when I yearn for freedom from this exterior shell , why do I still gravitate towards being a prisoner.

Break the habit of the scale-- you possibilities are endless when you pay attention to how you look and feel, instead of "your number."

This weekend, I went shopping in Houston. I tried on a pair of size 12 shorts from Ann Taylor Loft and they fit. I didn’t say they looked good, but I zipped those puppies up and they fit my body. Now, I probably needed another 5-8 lbs knocked off to wear them in public, but the point is that I haven’t worn a 12 since I was 155 lbs. I am 178 right now, so what that tells me is, that the number CAN be misleading!

Inches are where you will see your progress. Feeling good all day with energy is where you will see your progress-- NOT A NUMBER! SkinnyMeg talks today about how she was surprised after several months of not weighing, to weigh in at 153—and that her body was actually SMALLER than last summer, when she weighed in at 148! I believe it folks! She discussed back in march on THIS POST about how it is so easy to become a scale addict-- like me

Let's break free-- the time is now -- BREAK THE SCALE ADDICTION-- or the scale if you are really crazy!

Transformation Tuesday Pic (after only 6 weeks of advocare, working out, and clean eating-- with some cheats--(wine, nutella, and the list goes on and on LOL- I feel happier, stronger, and more glowy than before  I was doing paleo and running only in October-November before the holidays! I think I look a lot more healthier and happier too in just a 6 weeks span.

-- follow me on instagram-- godlygaudygirl