14 hours ago
It is What it Is.
As I was reminded yesterday, "In life we have many chapters." For some reason I find comfort in comparing my life to non life- and as I typed that I realized that I've compared my life before to books, to chapters, caterpillars, and to butterflies-- all of which are a form of life --fantasy or real-- all of which are things that have "chapters" or natural progression. After having my eye on a new book, the first thing I do is smell it, feel it, flip through it. After reading it sometime- I progress- chapter by chapter. It doesn't necessarily mean I can't go back to a previous one. As does everyone else, when I read a novel, I read chronologically, then when I pick up on a theme I'll go back and re-read that theme into a previously read chapter- searching for the hints and clues. It's my style. I like to be able to deconstruct things. I habitually over-analyze my thoughts so I can be sure of myself. I like to be able to go back and see things the second time that I didn't the first. Sometimes new chapters can be scary. You aren't really sure how the book will end- where it will turn, when it will stop, why it continues- but what I do know is this- you can't put it down. You aren't done until you are done. It takes up your energy, your time, and all the quiet in your mind fills up. You might even check out other novels by that author since you like their style. You get "stuck." Your focus on one thing makes everything else in your life unfocused. I was later reminded yesterday that those feelings are "organized chaos"- to make it easy on yourself, go with the confusion; it "comfortable-uncomfortableness" Even though you don't understand it--love it (it isn't permanent) -- it's organized chaos.