Red Ribbon Week

This week we said "NO!" To drugs at DHS! It was actually the first week I ever really tried to participate in! I even planned outfits lol! 

Monday was "Give drugs the boot" so I wore these cuties (we also had permission to wear jeans- HOLLA) 

  Tuesday was (and I quote this spelling) "Too brite for drugs" wear neon/shades. Now all the kids told me I spelled "brite" wrong... Duh kids, I know it's b-r-i-g-h-t- but that's what the email said, so.... I guess you can spell it two ways LOL. No jeans this day so I paired my neon with polka dot dress pants:

Wednesday was (ironically) "Peace out drugs" wear 60s and 70s clothing. Then some kid blurted out in class, "But Miss... That's dumb, why would we dress like that, didn't hippies do hard-core drugs..." And I'm over here thinking (why do you have to be this smart and yea, let's change the subject LOL)! I wore my cute dress from Boutique Twenty-7 in Silsbee! 

I paired it with neon leggings, a flower headband, and flats! Everyone loved it:

My flower headband is super cute and I might start wearing those types of trendy accessories more often, I loved how girlie it was! Lia Sophia Panorama necklace and Rhumba earrings really pulled this look off!

Hot pink leggings were from Wal-Mart!

I so need a full length mirror LOL I had to get the full shot in a mall bathroom (yea don't judge me)

Thursday was "pop- star, character, superhero day" basically...getting a way with wearing our Halloween costumes - fine by me!  The teachers in the English department at my school each chose a pop star, and I chose Miranda Lambert... 

Thanks to Kelly I had some awesomely HOTT boots!!

I had a long lace skirt that I wore as a dress so that you could see the boots! 

Thanks to my coworker Aimee, I had a cute cowgirl hat:

My other co-worker Amy was.... You guessed it.... MILEY CYRUS ha ha ha! Spot on!

Then I found out some kid called me "fat Miranda Lambert" and I was all like, "yea... I agree, tell me something I don't know!" Which didn't bother me at first but now does, so I'm drinking to that comment tonight  **CHEERS**

Wish I had a cotton candy cosmo FOR sure! 

Friday was "Senior day" where we could wear school colors or a shirt promoting one of our seniors (because it's senior night tonight at the FB game). I kept it classy and wore this (purplish) kimono:

Super fun and got it for 10.00 from the Francesca's sale rack!! HOLLA! Everyone loved it!

Then after work, I did what any "fat Miranda Lambert" would do, and I thoroughly enjoyed a .50 corn dog from Sonic! 

It was a fun week! Here's to a new month! October was full of fun, challenge, and change. 

Hmmm wonder what November will bring? 

Life's Not Fair

Life is not fair. And somedays I want to stomp my feet and throw a fit. Sometimes I want to be selfish and cranky and throw a pity party -- hell, just throw my whole "fake positive self" out the window. Sometimes I want to be pouty all day long, be a kid again, live at home where my momma packs my lunch and does my laundry, and my dad fixes things. Can somwbody just make me a PB&J and bring me a Kleenex? 

Being overweight isn't easy and when I cheat on my diet my body takes days to adjust... I never learn that lesson- UGH! How can some people lose weight so quickly and I can't- I can't even go out once without gaining weight... I hate hormones and the fact that my body is basically dormant. 

Being infertile isn't easy and when other people get pregnant all the time- it's frustrating. At the end of the day you aren't mad at them, you are mad at your body for NEVER working. Never. Oh late, yeah.... not pregnant! Let's play the progesterone game to get you "normal" I'm going to throw a fit for a minute and I'm sorry if your don't like it. I'm just frustrated. 

One of the bloggers I follow, just adorable, got married and pregnant within a 2 month time period. She announced it the moment she peed on the stick. I'm all over here like--- ehhh be careful you're literally announcing it the day of your missed period (which is totally fine but scary at the same time)- totally up to her but I'm a "weird -play it safe" kind of gal. Then the unfortunate happened. She lost the baby. I was sad for her. It's painful to watch loss in others. She's never experienced loss or struggle with pregnancy. She was in pain and talked about it frequently. She was pretty public with it and that's all she could think/talk about.  3 months later she's pregnant again. And I'm over here like - it's CD 40 and late....I'm not pregnant - why would I think for one minute to even buy a test and waste my time. Ouch. 

I'm glad to see her experience joy after loss, and this makes child 2. *insert stomping of feet* I just don't understand. I don't get it. She talked about how it "took forever to get pregnant this time...." and SO many times I read what she wrote, I wanted to say "Try waiting to become a family after years. Years." Then I slapped myself silly and told myself to stop being a martyr, a complainer, a victim. I know she struggled, I know she felt pain, why in my head do I think "I hurt worse" because I have no children and she has a few. I'm not sure...and I need to do some spiritual direction regarding that struggle. So pray for me, it's a daily struggle. 

Being at home alone isn't easy. When Cody is gone I realize that I'm really all alone. When I'm alone, it's quiet. When it's quiet I start to think of my struggle with weight and infertility... And the reel plays on and on. 

There are moments that I want to stomp my feet, cry in bed, never go to work, and eat junk all day- but all of that won't help me. What I'm thankful for right now is that my moments are just moments. 

 I remember a time where set backs, depressions- lasted 1-2 months. And I am not exaggerating. Cody would come home day in and day out and I would be in the same spot as the day before, watching different episodes of the same shows... and he would make me get up and get ready or at least take a shower. It was hard for him I'm sure, to live with a blob--- and duke was always great company.

And I guess I say all this to say, life isn't fair. It's not for me, you, your neighbor, your girlfriend, your coworker. And none of us can really do anything for anyone else except spend time with each other in order to make the silence easier. So don't be afraid to spend time with those hurting. Some of us created pain for ourselves based on choices, and some of us were blessed with pain. Pain is good for us but uncomfortable. It comes in different shapes and sizes and sometimes it's hidden. 

Life isn't fair....it was never suppose to be. Buckle up... It's going to be wild ride. 

iifym: The Lucky 7

I need to remember this- I can go the distance. I have not been 100% on iifym because when work or stress gets in the way I usually just stop, or eat, or totally give up. But for some reason, despite the below attitude... Iifym was in my favor for this weeks loss!

I could totally eat pizza on the daily! 

My back is back to 100% and to be honest I'm scared to lift. Since July, this is the first time I've had full range moment with zero pain I know if I lift and my back starts hurting, I'll have to see a real back doctor and not just a chiropractor for treatment. 

I have been eating less, not counting my food, but semi-tracking in my head. I need to spend more time on my tracking and planning, but we were kind of poor for a week and had to eat what we had and not what was on plan. That's kind of the awesome thing about iifym- if you eat in your budget of macros it's okay. I mean you can have brownie or a slice of pizza, as long as it doesn't turn into a daily temptation--- like mine started to with corndogs...I know???? I would prefer my macros be based on healthy, clean foods, because you actually get MORE food each time you eat, than, for example, if you ate 1 piece of pizza and a brownie for lunch! 

Today Is the last day of the 7th week of school. I decided to weigh-in today and I was happy to see that despite my poor planning I had actually lost. I weighed in at 180.5!

That means, in 7 weeks, I've lost a grand total of 8.5 lbs!! I'm very close to my 10 lb goal (1.5 lbs left) I'm going to be very excited the day that comes because Kelly and I are going to have venti pumpkin spice whatever at Starbucks! 

And she's pretty fabulous! God put her smack dab in front of my journey and I'm so thankful to actually get to work with her at DISD and have our 5 a.m. chats via text! She's a great friend, and we needed each other! 

In other news- I set a goal to make 166 my number by Jan. 1st--slow and steady may take the win! Currently that is 14.5 lbs away and I have 12 weeks to accomplish it! I'm excited and looking forward to that moment as well. I'm a little worried fertility medicine will make me gain more in the next few months but I'm giving that to God and going to try my best!

In brighter news, I really love fall- but I was totally thinking of spring this past weekend and how awesome it would be to use the space I have in my apartment and not just for decorating/ I mean to really LIVE in the space. So, I want to make our patio an extension of our livingroom, adding patio lights, a small outdoor rug, a bench, maybe some outdoor curtains, and this (come spring) 

I want a place we can sit and relax with coffee or wine or a friend! Super cute and since we cook with fresh herbs, why not just grow 'em! We could hang it over the storage door that currently holds a wreath! So not only will it look pretty but it will also serve a real purpose!

Also I had a wonderful moment at work this week, being recognized for teacher appreciation at the girls volleyball game (each athlete chose their favorite teacher)

I was chosen by Brooke, in my 2nd period and she got me an awesome goody basket and this super sweet letter 

 

Overall I had a great week, made it closer to my first 10 pound goal, and I'm looking forward to a busy weekend (oh-- and being off next Wednesday for the local fair)! Really keeping my fingers crossed for another 1.5 gone next weigh-in!

6 weeks in to iifym

I've been doing iifym a little over a month. 
It seems that with my PCOS, taking fertility medication, and stress, can still lose, IF I log AND eat the right foods 90% of the week. 

After six weeks in I weighed in at:

Of course that isn't my lowest ever in the last 1.5 years, I recall being 178.5 in December BUT it's a great deal better than the begining of school!! In 6 weeks I would have liked to lose 10 lbs, and I did not make my goal; I only lost 7 lbs. 

And I'm okay with that! I feel better, I'm on the right track, and I've got to remember my goals! I'm getting there! Hubby lost 10 lbs and that's great, so even with PCOS and not being able to work out very many days (due to my back) and I still lost! At the begining of the school year I was 189.0 and now I'm 182.

Sure, it took me a few weeks to lose an additional 1.5 lbs but it's all adding up! Plus I finished fertility medication in the middle of September and now I'm off, which leads me to think that's why it took a little longer to budge 1.5 lbs...and I cheated more than planned too (shhh)!! Like this divine French toast from The Black Walnut Café in Houston:

I starting thinking about making achievement goals- and I thought, I wow, if stay on track better this month, than last, I could lose 8 lbs instead of 7...which lead me to think...if I can lose another 8 lbs in 5-6 weeks I would weigh......

And that's progress, because you know what comes after that? Another 7-8 lbs! And when I thought of it in small chunks, focusing on meals, daily and weekly...I though- I CAN DO this! I would like to accomplish the 174.4 achievement in 5 weeks as projected in Myfitnesspal. Then I would like to achieve the next 7-8 lbs by the end of 2014. That's reasonable to me- without being too unrealistic (with pcos).

174.4 minus 8 lbs would put me at a "year end"  goal of 166. I like that number. First, I haven't been that number since 2008 and secondly it's 16 lbs away. I can lose 16 lbs in 3 months- I know I can! So, in keeping with my main goals/rewards sheet- now I just have some achievement guidelines in place to keep me better on target! 

Really hoping I get to minus 10 lbs soon, so I can have that white girl "fall drink", Pumpkin Spice Latte with my friend Kelly...isn't she so "hot"...in a totally nerdy way!? LOL (she's going to kill me for this):

In other news, Cody and I are getting creative with our meals! For example we made roast, red potatoes, and carrots in the crockpot on Monday, and tonight we used the ....wait WE didn't do anything... CODY used the leftover roast as our protein for taco soup and added the leftover few slices of potato and carrots! We served it strained, on tortillas with cheese and fresh avocado-YUMM! 400 calories later, I'm super happy! 

 

He also made a rendition of what I just listed above, but used the soup as soup, not strained, and added a mini 1 tortilla cheese quesadilla on the side...delish! What a creative way to reuse roast!