1 week ago
9.15.2011
Positively Negative
I got my beta back today- it was a a 2- yep A TWO. I am obviously not pregnant- my test was positively negative. Yes we knew this could be an outcome I have every right to be angry today. I am sorry if I hurt you, but I needed you all to know this. Tomorrow will be a better day and the anger will have subsided- and hopefully I will be positively positive as I have been for the past 2 years.
I deleted the previous ugly post that was written I am sure that I pissed you all off- and I know it is wrong to get that angry- I guess I just needed my 30 minutes of venting. Sorry if I upset you. And thank you all for your love, prayers, AND ADVICE
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Hang in there darlin'! I have faced some trials in my lifetime however, nothing has ever affected me like TTCing and getting a negative after each medicated cycle. It also seems that this is the time when everyone around you is experiencing this blessing, this miracle and you ask yourself, why not me??? I totally understand. It's a constant battle. Yes, I know God is in control and all my friends and family say that. And I know this, however, I HAVE to keep reminding myself of it. And it's okay to be upset, it's okay to be sad, and it's okay to vent; this is natural. Just don't let it overtake you. At one point I did and it made me a miserable person, and I didn't like being that person. Praying for you and your hubby during this difficult process. ~Britt
ReplyDeleteSorry Annie:(. I didn't see the last post but I remember what it felt like to go through a medicated cycle and have it not work. It will work, one day, and hopefully soon, it will. Until then it's okay to be frustrated and upset. Big hugs to you!!!
ReplyDeleteBritt- thank you for the reminder! You are very right!
ReplyDeleteBrandi- it was an angry post about people with kids giving me advice- when you are hurt, you say things you dont mean sometimes and realize it later.
This has been a very longggg summer and esp. this last 35 days has been long and rough. I am thankful for lots though and trying to keep my spirits up! Ill be fine tomorrow! :) thanks for hugs!