4 days ago
Happy Birthday to ME
I'm 28. When I thought about being 28, 20 years ago, 15 years ago, and 10 years ago- all of my goals were the same. When I responded to journal topics at school they asked something like "What will your life be like in 10 (or so) years? I could paint you a picture. Someone who was married, a mom, a teacher, and someone who was successul! I think at 28 instead of saying "I haven't done anything with my life" JUST because I am not "a mom" doesn't mean I havent been a success (and believe me, I have said it). I am a loving wife who knows where anything is in the house on any given day-- and still married- I have actually sustained the first (almost) 5 years of marriage, I struggle to be patient from 7-4 at my crazy job, I actually have a degree that I worked my booty off for, I have purchased a home, have two dogs, pay my bills, and I am a young devout Catholic. I think I have been more successful than most on this blessed 28th birthday-- but I cant take the cake-- I give it to God. I give it to my husband, my friends, my family, my priest. With out all of those people I wouldnt be successful. So why do I sometimes STILL equate ULTIMATE success with being a mother? There are plenty of mothers out there who havent done 1/2 as much as me, yet I see them more successful? I think it is because it is the one thing I can't just acheive. It is the one thing that doesnt compute like 1+1=2. It is the one thing to me, above all worldly things/ideals that means success. Today, 28 years ago, my mother gave birth to me. 5 lbs 8 oz. A bundle of joy. She doesnt have a degree, or a million dollars, but she is a mom---and to me she is what I want to be, SHE is successful. Today I am 28. I feel older. I'm not "college age" and I'm not a "soccer mom"- I am something in-between. Today I am 28 and it feels good to be me.