Paleo Week 1

I guess working at JD has changed hubby's mind about what type of food we should really be eating (that and he has Crohn's Disease and I have PCOS, we are both out of shape and working on our 5k for Nov. 11th). He came home a few weeks ago with a Paleo Comfort Foods Cookbook and said, "We're starting this next week." Ummm hello- excuse me "We're" you mean, YOU! I was totally not looking forward to giving up my bread, dairy, sugar, and processed foods for 30 days. We stared our Paleo 30 challenge 1 week ago, and I have to say When I weighed in this morning, I had lost 4 pounds. Running my behind off everyday  every other day and getting rid of processed stuff has not only allowed me to really prepare for my race, it has gotten me compliments! I am already showing signs of improved health and just FEEL better when I wake up! So, have I convinced you yet?

This is what you would be eating:

Okay, I know what you are thinking: So basically, I have to eat chicken and salad and water for 30 days. NO THANKS! You're wrong. You don't have to eat that, but you do have to get creative! We started here and have been very successful! We also started with this cookbook too! Hubby brought it home from work and I was skeptical really enjoyed cooking out of it! So how can one turn a boring non realistic eating plan into realistic with results? GET CREATIVE! I even made CHOCOLATE FUDGE (Paleo friendly of course, click the link for details)!!Here are some of the things we ate in our first week of Paleo:

Organic "Fried Chicken" with Cauliflower "mashed potatoes" and green beans: our gravy didn't turn out that great and the "mashed potatoes" were a little on the spicy side from the garlic, but good first attempt! We would make this again!

Many days for lunch I would have leftovers from the night before I would bring chicken and salad. I found that getting a rotisserie chicken was easier for me with time, money, and packing in advance. I also searched high and low for a dressing that would be acceptable (no sugar, no wheat, no crap) and I actually did! I found it at Super HEB! It tastes really good too!

For dinner another night we got our cookbook out again, and got creative with making Pumpkin Paleo Pancakes! They are made with almond flour, NO sugar and are perfect if you are craving something sweet and bread-y! They actually have pumpkin in them, so they did come out a little wet, so to me, they tasted more like french toast. We topped them with wild berries and honey. We also had cage free eggs and organic sausage! We felt as if we were cheating, that's how good dinner was!!

Snacking at school I would usually stick to fruit, but I also got addicted to these:

Before my runs, to protect my potassium and my blood sugar drops, I would have a banana (soft carbs) with cinnamon and honey. Super sweet, but eaten 20 minutes before a run helped me to regulate and push through! It also kept me from leg cramps!

I started to get tired of chicken, salad and dressing so I used some homemade salsa (the only kind out there that doesn't have crap and sugar in it) on my salad! We had some left over from our fajitas hubby made!

Speaking of Fajitas, we tried our hand (for literally an hour) at making coconut flour tortillas. They looked beautiful, but didn't taste that great! We threw them out, tried again and finally I headed to HEB where I bought Corn. You cannot  have corn products or wheat products, but since we were having friends over, we decided to cheat and then we ended up getting yogurt because our friends forced it upon us!

On the note of cheating, I was about sick of lettuce this week, and decided to get a JD gluten free sammie with chicken, avocado, and tomato. It was heavenly since I hadn't tasted bread in so long. On Paleo, you can have some gluten free products, but during the 30 day challenge you are to steer clear of ALL grains, including rice flour (which gluten free bread is made from). Oh well. After a long run, I felt I deserved a "healthy cheat."

WE have a run this Sunday and I am so excited. Paleo has not only given me the confidence to get through it successfully, It has rid me of the waste. In one week I can tell I am feeling better sans junk, wheat, dairy, and sugar. I can even see it on the scale!

Last Tuesday, Day 1:

This Tuesday, Day 7:

That's a 4 lb loss in 1 week! I think this way of eating is definitely helping my PCOS symptoms. I have been doing C25K since April. Off and on, I would diet here and there throughout, but my results weren't noticeable, just water weight. I think that through all of this running, others can tell I am getting healthier. A few people have said comments and I unbelievably went on about my business. I had a family member tell me to look at my FB pics and I would see how I've changed. BOY have I. Left is from 1 yr ago on Halloween. The right is just 2-3 weeks ago, even before the above 4 lbs lost. Inches lost are showing (and this is just in the face and cheeks)!!!!!

I cannot wait to tell you all about our color run and week 2 results from Paleo! I am so excited to feel better, look better, eat better and run better! Speaking of running look at that time! I beat my fastest mile! WooHoo GO ME!!! I know it isn't fast, but the more I lose, the faster I seem to go! I actually just increased to run 2.5 the other day! I'm not yet at a full 3 but I got to 2.3 out of the 2.5 I was was pretty proud of that. On that run, I also beat my mile time! I was beaming afterwards! GO PALEO!

 

Just Because...

Just because I'm infertile, doesn’t mean I am contagious. It doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to have fun. It doesn't mean that I am weird or abnormal. It doesn’t mean that every time I am around we have to talk about it. Just because I am infertile, doesn’t mean that I am any less of a woman or less of a friend, In fact, I am more. I am more because I know how pain feels. Just because I am infertile doesn’t mean that I am desperate and lonely, depressed, or even ungrateful for the life God has blessed me with; it just means that I yearn for something that so many others have or “control.” Sometimes I feel like saying, “It must be nice that life works out for you and you get pregnant when you want, or that life sucks and you accidentally get pregnant and weren’t expecting to...when's the wedding again?” Sometimes I feel like asking the people who have said hurtful things to me, how they would feel after three years of not getting pregnant. One time someone said to a friend of a friend, She is so (can't remember the actual word, but something to the affect of ugly, or rude)-- no wonder she cant get pregnant..that's why God hasn't blessed her, she doesn't deserve it." The person did not realize that I saw that conversation on a social media site, but I did. When other people think one is the reason for not getting BLESSED they have it all wrong, and words like that hurt. This week three years ago, Cody and I made a decision that would forever change our perspective on life. It would forever change who we would become. That decision was to honor God's law, regardless of my condition, and get off of Birth Control. Not just until we got what we wanted, but---for life. WE made a forever choice that has forever changed who we are. And to be honest, sometimes the effects of that decision have led me places that I don't wish anyone to go. That decision has made me into the best person and sometimes, the worst person-- but I am human. I make mistakes. If I can forgive others so easily, why do others hold grudges against me?

In dealing with infertility with myself and my close friends and family, I would have to say that someone else getting pregnant isn’t so much what hurts those of us who can’t; it is the slow fade of the friends that continue to have children and leave you behind. It is the "we just don't have anything in common anymore" statement that puts an uncloseable gap between two people, so big that eventually the relationship can't be healed. It is the acceptance of the still, quiet, life that you didn’t dream of. Loneliness is a cold dark place that most people don’t know, and to be honest, most couldn’t handle.
Yesterday as I listened to the homily at mass, God was speaking to me. Father Ross said that God gives us what we need for Eternal life, not what we want. “Maybe I don’t need children for eternal life” I thought…but then I began seeking then what it was that I needed. I won’t know what I need or don’t need, and it isn’t my job to find out. But I can tell you this: I definitely do not “have it all” like some people, but I have everything I need, today. Today I have what I need and I've got to acknowledge that.

I spoke with hubs himself today, and he has given me great advice: today is the feast day of St. Teresa of Avila, Doctor of the Church, I am seeking her counsel today since she lived in a community of all women and felt as if she wasn’t wanted. I plan on spending the rest of my day off (1/2 day today Parent/Teacher Conferences this afternoon) in contemplative prayer with St. T.

To read more about this Saint: click here.

P.O.R.N. Militia

My husband writes a blog over at P.O.R.N. Militia and asked me to guest write! Check out my post here

thanks!

C25K

Happy Blessed Sunday everyone! I woke up sleepy, made eggs and bacon and coffee for my hubby and thought today was going to be productive, and out of no where, there was a knock at the door. It was my depression.

As I laid in bed and held back tears while hubby was home, I couldn't hide it much longer. I always hate when he asks me "what's wrong?"  because I know, I just don't feel like acknowledging it by speaking it. As I laid in bed and wished for the things I didn't have and thought about how I've failed at many things, Cody walked in and consoled me.

On his way out the door, he kicked out my depression, and I laced up my new running shoes that I got for my 29th birthday! I put on my running clothes, got my ear buds and my ipod arm band, and I was DETERMINED to accomplish what I had been fearing for days (Week 5 workout 3, a 20 minute straight run), so much so that I kept repeating week 5, day 2 workout! Eek! Now, to your avg. runner, that is no biggie, but for someone who is not yet a distinguished runner, 20 minutes is a LONG time to run without stopping. I have been attempting C25K since April, yep, since April, but hey, at least I am doing it, even with all of my excuses! I have weeks 6, 7, and 8 left for training and in 8 weeks, I am running my first (but not last) race! Here is my DETERMINED pic BEFORE my accomplishment:

I beat my fear of the 20 minutes today; I beat my depression this morning. In the past, I was in therapy, and because of that, I can now successfully deal with my problems and depression. I know how to tackle it first hand. Now, some days do I want to? NO! Sometimes I want to be useless and cry and eat all day, but it only makes it harder in the long run. It isn't that I am FAKE because I can move past it, it is that I am REAL and that I have a GOD so wonderful, that he loves ME because I FAIL. He loves me because I forgive, he loves me because I am giving, and he loves me because I am overweight. He loves me (period). He loves me so much that he gives me the smile on my face and the strength to keep hitting my foot on the pavement.

Today, I won and I am so very proud of me! Now I know that I can run two miles straight, can I run three? YOU BET. Because in Matt. 17:20 it states, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

C25K do's

• get fitted for running shoes
• buy running clothes that don't ride up
• listen to music that calms your breathing pattern, the longer you can stay calm, the longer you can run.
• Eat a pre run snack: my favs are a bagel with peanut butter or 1/2 turkey sammie
• run outside as much as possible because that is where you will be running your race, not on a treadmill
• repeat workouts as necessary before moving on to the next C25K challenge
• get a C25K app on your phone- it will tell you when to walk and when to run. It plays in the background so you can listen to music still.

C25K don'ts:

• don't eat junk like I did, it makes it so hard to run in the afternoons!
• don't run in random shoes like I did, because your feet are not secure
• don't skip having water all day and expect to run successfully- I love me some DIET COKE:/ 
• don't skip workouts or whole weeks at a time without repeating some workouts again
• don't run everyday until you think you can handle it
• don't expect to keep up the pace with your husband, you have shorter legs!
• don't give up.

Here I am AFTER my run! Whew! I rocked it!

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
-Hebrews 12:11-13

Happy 29th to Me

Today is my birthday! I made it to 29 years of age! Sometimes I think, I can't believe I am 29, when I was 15 I thought at that age one was old or established. Today's journal in my classroom is: "What do you think your life will be like 10 years from now." I love hearing all of my students' dreams and goals; it always brings me back to 19 and thinking where I would be at this 29th year! I have to say though, that even since last year's birthday post  (click here to read) that I have come a very long way. In the last year I have:

• completed and failed several fertility treatments
• grown closer to my husband
• lost some weight
• started running
• changed from regular foods to more organic
• bought a keurig
• moved from a small town to a city
• sold a ton of stuff that I never use
• celebrated birthdays of the many babies God has placed in my life
• had my God children, M____ and D ____ spend the night and successfully made it through mass with both of them
• Became a new Godmother to baby K____
• spent mother's day as a God Mother with baby K___
• celebrated births of C____ , L _____, and G _____
• started my Master's Degree in School Counseling
• made lots of new desserts and appetizers
• took family photos
• Worked summer school :( grrr
• bought my second NEW item for our home in six years of marriage
• learned to feel comfortable in the life I have been blessed with
• signed up for The Color Run on Nov. 11th
• started seeing a new Catholic based fertility specialist with NaPro Technology
• gained new friendships and strengthened my current ones
• successfully completed many fasts with my husband
• Shopped, shopped, and shopped some more
• decorated and re-decorated
• bought ANOTHER kitchen table
• went to Alamo Draft house
• Prayed, prayed, and prayed some more
• and last but not least...Celebrated. 

From 28-29,  I celebrated my wonderful and blessed life, my God, my church, my husband, my family, my friends, my job and co-workers, my students, my doggies, and all of the babies God has placed in my path until I am blessed with one of my own.  I celebrated my failures and my success. I celebrated the rough patches and the smooth rides. I celebrated when I didn't feel like it, and some times too much!

From 29-30 my goals are simple: Live Life. I am not living in the future, the past, or in my dreams. I am simply living, as a 29 year old success and I finally feel like I am right where I need to be.

Moving On...

Running therapy > Writing therapy and = to real therapy!! That's where I have been folks! Running! My first race is November 11th and I am excited about our Color Run! For our 6th anniversary we are celebrating in our Nike's! Change is the new theme in our home as we have not only been running, we have also been moving on! We just moved and are excited to start our new life and new adventure God has planned for us. It seems that through running and moving I have had little time to write, much less think about the big I word "Infertility." I had a mini breakdown a few weeks ago, but other than that- I have recovered! Hubby also told me that night at dinner what my birthday present was going to be. He asked Max Bemis to write a song for me about my struggle with Infertility and how I am not broken, even though I can't make babies! After I had reapplied my make up 4 times that very day, I then started bawling AGAIN at the dinner table! Max is the artist of Say Anything, a band we use to  frequently listen to, go to concerts for, etc...but as we have aged, our taste has changed to other types of music! Cody saw that Max was asking his fans to write a page about whatever they wanted their song to be about, so Cody wrote about me! Max only accepts 100 fans' letters so I am thrilled to hear it! And with that I can say (confidently) I am moving on. The baby-less-ness is getting easier to deal with and my self acceptance is uncovering itself.

God always has his hand in things and he sure did with our home. After buying a lemon we finally got out of it. It took my husband's career change, which freed up some space to apply for government help, but we are OUT! We owe nothing and it barely dented our credit! By the grace of God, our deed in lieu was granted and we are free. We moved last weekend with the help of our great friends, parents, and some extra help-- one that wasn't an English speaker and one that was-- leave it to MY dad to get the two mixed up! Talk about funny stuff! We have moved on to better things and this allows us to be able to transfer anywhere in Texas that Cody applies for higher positions with JD. After trying to sell our home several times, God wanted it THIS way, HIS way. It's odd to live in a new place, to look back and see where life took a turn for the better, even when that turn looked like a turn for the worse.

I saw a C.S. Lewis quote the other day, and ever since then I have been needing to blog! Change is scary and uncomfortable, but it allows to become something we have never been before. That's why I love being a teacher; I can change who I am as a teacher, each year. I finally got my ticket for change. It was not exactly how I expected and for the last few days I have been pinching myself, saying, is this really my new life? All of a sudden, in one second I went from what I was, to what I wanted to be. I am moving on everyone, and happy.

Busy Bee

I have been overly busy. So busy that I feel like I did 10 years ago when I was in college. Oh, wait. I am :/ I am currently working on getting my Master's Degree in School Counseling. This is a bridge move to what I really want to do, and that is become an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor). My dream job would be to stay at home with my children and work part time as an LPC. Okay, but really, with no kiddos and no master's yet, I am setting that on the 5 yr list. Not that I will have a nervous breakdown if I am not there in 5 years or anything (I have had PLENTY of those in the last almost 3 of trying). Speaking of that- October makes 3 years of us deciding that we are going to live as The Church teaches, being open to life. I am sad that we weren't thoroughly involved in our faith the first 1-2 years of our marriage, but, HEY, we are all sinners and are all on a journey! I often wonder what life would be like if we had children like some of our friends and schoolmates do, and then I just cannot imagine it. On our way to crabbing last weekend, I looked in the back seat, and then asked Cody, "Could you imagine what it would be like if we got pregnant right after we got married? We would have a kindergartener!" I can't understand what that would be like and what maybe we would be doing, but I know HE has a plan!

About a month ago, prayers were answered for our family. I sat at my desk with my head down, and talked with God. I said, LORD, put us where you want us to be. Open the door wide open if the next step for my husband is YOUR WILL, or LORD, even though it might sting, shut the door. We are waiting and listening. 24 hours later, He shut the door alright. And it slammed. I never worried one bit. I never got disturbed or sad. I was actually smiling when the door shut, because it was an answered prayer! 5 days later, another door opened. A more beautiful door—a door that fits our "home" better. God not only answered our prayer, he gave my husband an opportunity of a life time, an opportunity to work for a God centered place that instills values in their managers. We are so thankful for that! I then looked up to God and I said, I get it now, you needed to take away, bring something better, and settle our family before the next step, and I find great comfort in that, especially with the TTC stuff!

Other life changes have kept us busy too, one being getting back on the ball with fitness and health. By the grace of God, I have been content with my infertility. I think the TTC group can understand this rollercoaster I am describing. And right now, I am okay. We do, however, want to use our time wisely and definitely want to get this PCOS weight off! My husband is my biggest fan and he is right there with me as we attempt (for the 3rd time since May) to complete C25k (Couch 2 5k)! We got all the way to week 3, but back tracked in late May when we had some life changes! We are back at it and doing GREAT! After reading some in my theories class, I have realized that running is the number one method of therapy (meditation being number two) and together, we will be getting fit and healthy and will push each other to train, even on the days we "don't wanna."

Also, I am teaching summer school, not because I applied or anything, but because on the last day of school, after our teacher luncheon, I received a call. They needed someone to teach and even though every bone in my body said no, I excitedly said YES! So, as pull myself out of bed each morning, and unenthusiastically find clothes to wear that look acceptable and comfortable, I crankily drive my car to Ozen and pull in. I get out, walk 2.5 miles to the door, and plaster on fakeness. But hey, God wanted me to have it for SOME reason; after all I didn't even seek the job!

Have a rockin' summer y'all!