14 hours ago
Country Comes to Town …. (I mean, TOWN Comes to COUNTRY)
Part I: Per the host and friends, I am blogging today about shower etiquette. Now, we all have been to a shower or two or (thirty-six if you are me), and most times- they are for weddings or babies. I had the most fabulous time at a shower this past weekend—the photographer and I (along with the host) were rolling around laughing—secretly of course because we are all friends. You must realize that it wasn’t “Country Come to Town”, rather “TOWN (three city chicks) Come to Country” (the big V). Long story short, they decided I needed to blog about this hillbilly experience, so here goes—the long story for that matter. I headed on down to the big V- country town, aka white-ville USA. When I arrived my poor itty bitty friend was over-hauling an entire community center by herself; this brings me to my first topic: FAMILY. Okay family—here are some basic rules of thumb.1. Don’t say you are arriving at a specific time to only show up AFTER the host and her posse already set up the place. I mean, come on—if you say 11:30 with a party starting at 2, don’t show up with all of your magnificent food at 1:45—that is a MAIN stress as a party planner. Rule 2: When you come to a party, only bring your children if and ONLY IF you can “handle” them. When I see your five year old “perfect princess” playing on the restroom floor, I would really like to NOT see her sticking her fingers in all seventy-five cupcakes- mmm k! That was about enough to gross out anyone (anyone paying attention to detail, that is). Thank goodness I was friends with the host; she went on a “secret mission” to dispose of the toxic cupcake/s. Let’s go ahead and transition right along to my NEXT topic: Food—yes, food. IF and WHEN you bring an item to a party you are (in a sense) donating that item to the party. Unless the host specifically asks you to bring food home when we are cleaning up, don’t bring your extra home food! As D____ and I watched closely, before the shower was over, a guest that brought a fruit tray decided to leave early…and so did her fruit tray! We laughed hysterically: “Maybe this is the way country-folk do things” we thought. I mean, a half eaten fruit tray…what were you going to do with it, bring it to work—(mind you everyone at the shower had eaten most of it) so we sat there giggling as Auntie “Mabel” seized the fruit tray as if it had grown legs and was going to take off. Of course some of you might be thinking that I am being very particular- however we are making “light” of this shower--- because, well- there is an ocean of drama behind it. As D___ and I laughed, the guests were getting impatient, which brings me to my last topic for Part I of this crazy country experience: Gifts. This one kept us amused most of the party. When I say gifts…this family thinks: rivalry. YES- competitions between sides and siblings, competitions between aunts and cousins… The party started at 2—at 1:45, when the gifts started to arrive, we were baffled that the gift table was full from only two of the forty-eight guests! Mountains of gifts large and small, cute and awkward looking were stacked to the ceiling- we could barely see the honoree and all for the satisfaction of out-doing one another. But as my eye for detail zoomed in, I had to laugh. Now, I am NOT claiming to be an expert gift wrapper, HOWEVER my mother is (so she usually does this for me) because, remember—it isn’t only about the gift, but also about the presentation! When my meticulous eye caught a few gifts peeping through their one inch slits on the bottom of the present- I was giggling inside- I could hear my mother saying, ”Annie, NO, you do not do that!—Give it here and just let me wrap it.” (If you aren’t laughing, well- I guess you kind of had to BEE there). I could tell that these people weren’t into quality, rather quantity--- remember we are in the country—where they do all things BIGGER (from cows to gifts, they don’t care what they look like, just as long as they are “good”). As I wrap up Part I of this country-tastic shower-journey, remember there will be a Part II of TOWN Comes to COUNTRY later this week. I hope you got your laugh of the day. And always remember…be very careful when you choose your cupcake at a shower!