What I've Learned

In my life, it seems that I have one experience or challenge after another. It seems that in the mire and the muck that I always to fall in I can’t understand how I will ever shine again. Miraculously there is a new me when I am washed off…a “brighter” me—figuratively and literally. So what have a learned?

I’ve learned that in some weird way, God puts the people we need right in front of our faces. There have been several times I have struggled with my infertility in the past 2 ½ years, and in that time God put people that struggled or are struggling in my face, it was just my job to be open enough to get to know them, because if I wouldn’t have, I would have never know they struggled too.

I’ve learned that sometimes people don’t understand you because they don’t want to change.

I’ve learned that a “good cry” and a “stomping of my feet” is okay, because God can handle it.

I’ve learned that when everyone else is too busy, my husband is always there, and he has a listening ear like no other.

I’ve learned that when I get frustrated at doing my job, to be thankful and say, “God, thank you for the job you have given me, and thank you for the job you will lead me to in the future.”

I’ve learned that is okay to not say everything that is inside of your heart, because when you open it up all of the way, you take too great of a chance with someone damaging your valuable, vulnerable, feelings. It’s okay to hold back a little, as long as you have a consistent healthy way of expression. One doesn’t need to put all of their trials on the clothes line.

I’ve learned that I shouldn’t ask God to be with me, but that I should be with God.

I’ve learned that I am smart enough to go back to school, and I really enjoy what I am pursuing.

I’ve learned that thanking God for our beautiful children, even before he blesses us, puts my total faith and trust in Him.

I’ve learned that nothing ever goes as planned for my life—and you know what, nothing goes as planned for anyone else’s, and that’s okay. God has something better planned.

I’ve learned that people who know me and love me will accept me and my husband, my family, our religion, and our life for what it is, and they are here to support us in our decisions and downfalls. If you aren’t present in my trials, don’t expect to be there in the triumphs.

I’ve learned that I am a pretty lucky person because I have two parents, that are still married and who raised me to be a conservative, young lady that makes good choices; parents that love me so much, they would just rather Cody and me live with them, instead of a 1.35 miles away.

I've learned that throwing the scale out of the window (literally) has allowed me to not be a slave to a number on the scale.

I’ve learned that no matter how many gymnastics moves I do, or medicines I take, or foods that I omit, I am not going to have a baby, until God wants me to. (Now, this doesn’t mean that I still don’t have days that I don’t get out of bed, but I know it to be true).

I’ve learned that eating is a temporary fix to my emotional holes.

I’ve learned that people will slander you, just to become friends with one of your friends, because they have no friends, and if that is what they want to build their relationship on, it’s okay. It speaks volumes about their character. If they want my friend that bad, and she believes their fallacies, they can have each other. I don’t need anyone to justify me as a person; I am strong enough with God and my husband. It still stings, but there are plenty of people in the word for me to pour my energy into, besides the drama type.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how crazy my life gets, I am right where I need to be.