The Fall

***For the next two weeks, I will be steering my Lenten Blog Challenge into the direction of The Way of the Cross, also known as The Stations of the Cross, Via Crucis, and Via Dolorosa. These names are used to signify either a series of pictures or tableaux representing certain scenes in the Passion of Christ, each corresponding to a particular incident, or the special form of devotion connected with such representations. I will be posting a Station each day, then reflecting on that Station. To read more about the Way of the Cross, click HERE.

STATION III: JESUS FALLS THE FIRST TIME

The human body is not designed for this type of physical or emotional stress. Betrayed and beaten, dehydrated and dying, His legs give out. His body succumbs to intense fatigue. Jesus' back is shredded and His limbs are weary from the beatings that had begun hours earlier. Though fully divine, Christ's humanity is clearly seen in this moment as He falls to His knees. Every exhale reveals our Lord's exhaustion. Every inhale sends shock waves of pain throughout His body. Strength slowly returns to His legs as our Lord rises to continue on the way of sacrifice.  

REFLECTION:

We can identify most with Jesus in His walk as He falls. Our life is series of falls. Sometimes when we fall, others are happy because they are waiting for it. Sometimes, even though we are practicing Christians and our friends and family know it, we come across people in our lives that find joy in us falling as a "gotcha" moment. It almost feels like they are saying "See, you aren't perfect YOU Sinner, you!" Silly people-- they do not know what it really means then to be a Christian-- for it means we will fall, we will fail, and we will get back up and try again. For Catholics, we have the wonderful opportunity to get back up again in Reconciliation. We can confess our sins that we are heartily sorry for and have a firm intention of not doing again, and we become clean. If Jesus himself fell in his struggle, then why would anyone think we as HUMANS wouldn't fall? I guess what hurts the most is feeling abandoned by those who judge us for falling, those very people that don't even practice Christianity or admit to falling themselves, are always the first to judge our humanistic ways-- but we cannot give in to them. We must get back up, go back into the confessional, go back to mass, we must continue on our climb up the mountain. It is imperitive that we make resolve to be better and thank God for such a wonderful opportunity, because he already knows that we will make mistakes. When we feel weak during our fall, look around. Sometimes people will be there to pick us back up; sometimes people will be there to turn away and mock us. But always, no matter what, Jesus is there. He is waiting in the wings. He will pick us up when we lose our strength. We must remember that we are a human, we are sinners, we are Christian, and we are loved so much by Him. Christ can only shine on others through our cracks and breaks. For us to show others His light, He has to shine through us.


“The Christian soul knows it needs Divine Help and therefore turns to Him Who loved us even while we were yet sinners. Examination of conscience, instead of inducing morbidity, thereby becomes an occasion of joy. There are two ways of knowing how good and loving God is. One is by never losing Him, through the preservation of innocence, and the other is by finding Him after one has lost Him. Repentance is not self-regarding, but God-regarding. It is not self-loathing, but God-loving. Christianity bids us accept ourselves as we really are, with all our faults and our failings and our sins. In all other religions, one has to be good to come to God—in Christianity one does not. Christianity might be described as a “come as you are” party. It bids us stop worrying about ourselves, stop concentrating on our faults and our failings, and thrust them upon the Saviour with a firm resolve of amendment. The examination of conscience never induces despair, always hope…Because examination of conscience is done in the light of God’s love, it begins with a prayer to the Holy Spirit to illumine our minds. A soul then acts toward the Spirit of God as toward a watchmaker who will fix our watch. We put a watch in his hands because we know he will not force it, and we put our souls in God’s hands because we know that if he inspects them regularly they will work as they should…it is true that, the closer we get to God, the more we see our defects. A painting reveals few defects under candlelight, but the sunlight may reveal it as daub. The very good never believe themselves very good, because they are judging themselves by the Ideal. In perfect innocence each soul, like the Apostles at the Last Supper, cries out, “Is it I, Lord” (Matt. 26:22).”

--Fulton Sheen

The Climb

***For the next two weeks, I will be steering my Lenten Blog Challenge into the direction of The Way of the Cross, also known as The Stations of the Cross, Via Crucis, and Via Dolorosa. These names are used to signify either a series of pictures or tableaux representing certain scenes in the Passion of Christ, each corresponding to a particular incident, or the special form of devotion connected with such representations. I will be posting a Station each day, then reflecting on that Station. To read more about the Way of the Cross, click HERE.

STATION II: JESUS IS GIVEN HIS CROSS

The journey that began in a lonely garden has now thrust Jesus into the overcrowded streets. Thousands of people in town for Passover watch as the convicted man marches to His death. He had told His apostles of the suffering that awaited Him and Jesus now bears the weight of that Cross upon Himself. The splintered crossbeam digs into His shoulders. The wood is stained with the blood of the Lamb. Though His suffering would bring life, His walk was one of death. Jesus embraces more than the physical pain in this moment, with each step forward Christ takes on our sin - He takes our death sentence as His own.


REFLECTION:

  Our Lord not only carried his cross, but ours. He knows our deepest pains, fears, and struggles. If you frequent my blog, you already know that some of my struggles are public, but others are not. It helps me to write about my cross, because it allows my mind to rid the stress. Other crosses I bear, only my closest family members really know about, and that's okay. I think what we have to remember in carrying our cross, is that our cross changes shape and size throughout our lifetime. Also, each of our crosses may look similar, but everyone carries their cross differently. God already knows that we each have a cross, so we don't have to tell him. I think that is what I like most about going to Eucharistic Adoration-- I can just sit and be still. I know, that he knows, what I need and how I feel, since he has already carried all of our crosses before we could. Sometimes, we help others with their cross, and other times, we are are someone else's cross. Whatever your cross--infertility, weight loss, depression, disease-- invite Him into it. We do not climb this mountain alone, we climb it next to Him. I sometimes forget this myself, but going through The Way of the Cross reminds me that someone does understand. My reflections stem from another Way of the Cross idea that I am making more personal. When I read this today, I just couldn't skip over this powerful sentence in the reflection notes: "Prayer is where the cross changes shoulders." That is so very true! Prayer helps us with the load of our cross, even when our prayers are silent. As we climb through our struggle, we are reminded, that everyone's cross isn't physical or visible. As our cross digs into us, we receive our own battle scars that mold us to be more like Christ-- it is only in the tough climb of our mountain-- the mountain that looks so large we could never climb, that we can be shaped-- one way or another we will be shaped-- like the potter and the clay, it is in our struggle that we become like Christ.  


Like Miley Cyrus or not, this song seemed so fitting for this blog post! Enjoy!  

Bee Stings

***For the next two weeks, I will be steering my Lenten Blog Challenge into the direction of The Way of the Cross, also known as The Stations of the Cross, Via Crucis, and Via Dolorosa. These names are used to signify either a series of pictures or tableaux representing certain scenes in the Passion of Christ, each corresponding to a particular incident, or the special form of devotion connected with such representations. I will be posting a Station each day, then reflecting on that Station. To read more about the Way of the Cross, click HERE. Pope Francis' first sermon in the Sistine Chapel tells us the importance on meditating the Way of the Cross:

"When we walk without the Cross, when we build without the Cross, and when we profess Christ without the Cross, we are not disciples of the Lord. We are worldly, we are bishops, priests, cardinals, Popes, but not disciples of the Lord.
I would like that all of us, after these days of grace, might have the courage – the courage – to walk in the presence of the Lord, with the Cross of the Lord: to build the Church on the Blood of the Lord, which is shed on the Cross, and to profess the one glory, Christ Crucified. In this way, the Church will go forward.
My hope for all of us is that the Holy Spirit, that the prayer of Our Lady, our Mother, might grant us this grace: to walk, to build, to profess Jesus Christ Crucified. So be it."

STATION I: JESUS IS CONDEMNED TO DIE

Though the Lord stands innocent, they find Him guilty. Jesus Christ, the only one with the true power to condemn humanity has now been condemned by it. Standing bloodied and broken, the Lord refuses to defend Himself. He speaks only when necessary, offering truth to any hearts open to receiving it. Pilate, confused by the man in his presence, gives in to the mob who demands Jesus be crucified. The true criminal is released as the Lord and giver of Life is sentenced to die. The decision has been made and the road to Calvary awaits Jesus.

REFLECTION:

Anytime you share your convictions and the word of God with family, facebook, the blogging world, co-workers, and friends, you take the chance of being "convicted." Following Christ isn't always the easy road, and sometimes  people criticize us for following him, be it a facebook post about praying at the abortion clinic, the Christian music blasting in our car, or that mantilla we don at mass. When those around us are too comfortable to follow Christ, they try to make us feel uncomfortable-- they try to break us. Eventually, because we do not fit into their lifestyle, they slowly (or quickly) fade away. Those bee stings of pain we feel from losing a friend or family member can come through gossip, mockery, or even betrayal. One thing we should remember as Christians, is that sometimes we are singled out and lonely, just as Jesus was when he stood before Pilate. It is in those times, however, we see who our real friends are. It is in those times that we lose the ones we thought were our friends, but gain an ultimate companion.

Habemus Papam

I am back from my excuse filled hiatus from the blogging world! I am back on track with my Lenten Blogging Challenge-- and what better day to renew my spirit this Lent, than this day 3/13/13-- when Catholics around the world met their new pappa! Pope Francis had me and hubby glued to the TV today for HOURS, but seeing the white smoke and getting a TV blessing from our new Pope was a great day for us to share! With the excitement that a new Pope brings to the Church, I felt an extra push today to make sure that I get back on track with the blogging efforts I promised during Lent. 

Last weekend hubby, with the help of some other church members, put on an RCIA retreat for the Candidates and Catechumens-- those coming home to the Catholic Church this Easter! I have to say, it was a great retreat for me, so I can only imagine what they thought! It lit a fire in me and got me thinking. It allowed me to power down from the world, so that I could power back up for Lent.

During that retreat, I felt called to really help more with RCIA next year (not just teaching a class about sexuality) but by really helping design the retreat for next year and by opening my mind to teaching more with hubster-- he is talented in his religious teaching.... that has inspired me to also teach. Also during the retreat I thought more about how I can use the rest of Lent to focus my blogs on my religious life, as well as my other personal commitments.

From one Pope to another, from one Pope to all of us....B16 reminds us-

“Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom? . . . No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life. Amen.”
― Pope Benedict XVI

Although we are all nervous about this new change in our church, we can learn something from our Pope Emeritus Benedict: by giving up something significant, we allow Christ to make us beautiful.
We can take our Pope Emeritus' advice that fear comes with change, but in that change comes Christ. Change in the Catholic Church might not have affected you if you aren't Catholic, but fear through change can come by starting a new diet, a new call from God, or even a new YES to something that we previously have said No to! B16 is still with us, he is now, just as we all are, giving total obedience to Pope Francis while giving everything to Christ and finding true life in change.

Prayer for Lent- Day 5

I should have posted this on the first Sunday of Lent but I am falling behind!

Lent did start with Ash Wednesday on February 13th! The Sunday after Ash Wednesday is the First Sunday of Lent. It might be getting difficult for some (yes, already) to hold fast to what we promised. If we start each day with a prayer, we can shield ourselves while we are in the desert. I found this prayer online-- use if you'd like!

Prayer for Spiritual Renewal

God, heavenly Father, look upon me and hear my prayer during this holy Season of Lent. By the good works You inspire, help me to discipline my body and to be renewed in spirit.

Without You, I can do nothing. By Your Spirit help me to know what is right and to be eager in doing Your will. Teach me to find new life through penance. Keep me from sin, and help me live by Your commandment of love.

God of love, bring me back to You. Send Your Spirit to make me strong in faith and active in good works. May my acts of penance bring me Your forgiveness, open my heart to Your love, and prepare me for the coming feast of the Resurrection of Jesus.

Lord, during this Lenten Season nourish me with Your word of life and make me one with You in love and prayer.

Fill my heart with Your love and keep me faithful to the Gospel of Christ. Give me the grace to rise above my human weakness. Give me new life by Your Sacraments, especially the Mass.

Father, our source of life, I reach out with joy to grasp Your hand; let me walk more readily in Your ways. Guide me in Your gentle mercy, for left to myself I cannot do Your Will.

Father of love, source of all blessings, help me to pass from my old life of sin to the new life of grace. Prepare me for the glory of Your Kingdom.
I ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, One God, forever. Amen.

Giving Up Darkness: Day 4 Lent 2013

So  I am behind in my blogging efforts so day I will post multiple blog posts in order to catch up!

One of our main focuses during Lent is what we give up! We usually give up things that are temptations to us. In choosing what we are actually giving up for Lent, we should ask ourselves: "How will giving up ___ bring me closer to God?" We should really fast in private, but sometimes, going public holds us accountable! Personally, I think somethings are okay for public purpose if it serves God. Other things we battle should be private.

Lent for me (in the past) has gone either 1 of 3 ways: (1) start off strong, then tinker off towards about week 4-6. (2) start off weak and fail, then get motivated to start back up about mid way. (3) do nothing at all.
I think my worst times in life were those Lenten seasons that I choose to do nothing. I am having a hard time this Lent, but I am getting back on track. I think trying is better than ignoring. Sometimes the devil tries to block our priorities. This Lent, it seems he is doing a good job of that- BUT HE ISN'T GOING TO WIN.

Ask yourself- "Is what I am doing, bringing me closer or farther away from God" That very statement is pretty powerful! What we see in the light doesn't look nearly as "good" to us as it does in the dark, but we need the light to move closer- we need a bit of uncomfortableness to be "fixed."

“The Christian soul knows it needs Divine Help and therefore turns to Him Who loved us even while we were yet sinners. Examination of conscience, instead of inducing morbidity, thereby becomes an occasion of joy. There are two ways of knowing how good and loving God is. One is by never losing Him, through the preservation of innocence, and the other is by finding Him after one has lost Him. Repentance is not self-regarding, but God-regarding. It is not self-loathing, but God-loving. Christianity bids us accept ourselves as we really are, with all our faults and our failings and our sins. In all other religions, one has to be good to come to God—in Christianity one does not. Christianity might be described as a “come as you are” party. It bids us stop worrying about ourselves, stop concentrating on our faults and our failings, and thrust them upon the Saviour with a firm resolve of amendment. The examination of conscience never induces despair, always hope…Because examination of conscience is done in the light of God’s love, it begins with a prayer to the Holy Spirit to illumine our minds. A soul then acts toward the Spirit of God as toward a watchmaker who will fix our watch. We put a watch in his hands because we know he will not force it, and we put our souls in God’s hands because we know that if he inspects them regularly they will work as they should…it is true that, the closer we get to God, the more we see our defects. A painting reveals few defects under candlelight, but the sunlight may reveal it as daub. The very good never believe themselves very good, because they are judging themselves by the Ideal. In perfect innocence each soul, like the Apostles at the Last Supper, cries out, “Is it I, Lord” (Matt. 26:22).”

― Fulton J. Sheen, Peace of Soul: Timeless Wisdom on Finding Serenity and Joy by the Century's Most Acclaimed Catholic Bishop

The L Word

"L" word.... "L" word? There are a few that come to mind. Today, I am posting for my Lenten Blogging Challenge: Days 2 and 3. I would give you some awesome idea as to why I conjoined the two days, but the truth is, I am full of excuses. I got really busy at work and have not been in the "mood" to blog. REGARDLESS if I am in the mood or not, I asked myself, "Was Jesus in the mood to show The Father how much he loved him?" Which perfectly transitions me to getting back to the title of my post: the "L" word. All day Thursday I was doubting myself into doing this blogging challenge: "How would I have enough faith filled ideas to share? What exactly would I write about? I didn't do anything charitable yet, and it is 4:37 p.m." (if you aren't following me on why I am talking about charity or setting standards for alms giving, read my previous post here.

So, back to the story- as I pondered about my acts of charity that very afternoon, I then remembered that I had done something! On Friday, I did many things. Today though, was what mended it all together. As I read "Aim Higher" in Eucharistic Adoration this afternoon, I noticed a common theme in all of this: Love. So, if you haven't guessed it by now, today is going to explore the idea of Love, through Jesus and Our Lady.

In part one of the collection of his writings, St. Maximilian Kolbe writes "We name her Lady, but this title places us at a distance from her maternal heart. We call her Queen, but here we must add that she is the Queen of hearts, the Queen of love. Her law is love, and her power is motherly love. These and similar explanations, although they are brought forward without end, will not even tell a part of what the soul feels when it is consumed by love of her. It experiences in itself that the Immaculata belongs to it more and more under every aspect, and yet realizes that these are put the beginnings of knowing and loving her... Mary always was to us a most tender Mother, and is now and always will be, in life and death and eternity.  Let us recall this truth to ourselves often in external difficulties, but especially in those most grievous internal ones."

We have all fought or will all fight or are all fighting internal and external difficulties. One of mine that this blog is centered upon is infertility. Although I am in 3 1/2 years into the struggle, I find that by asking God to show me how he wants me to parent, opens me up to love.

My charity, 90 percent of the time, comes from being a teacher. I am not a biological or foster parent to the 125 students I teach each year, but I am a parent. I put lunch money in lunch accounts, I buy supplies, I purchase school clothes, I hug, I give 25 cents here and there, I give rides home and sometimes I even grab dinner. I am privileged enough to feel a grain of sand of the feelings Mary felt when she loved Jesus. She knew he was hers to watch, but ultimately he belonged to someone else. It was her job to love him, as it is my job to love my students.

(this blog is longer than expected sorry, but I would like to share an intimate story with you)

I feel the closest to God when I do things for others. I don't do it to toot my own horn, or so that they will return the favor, I have just always been a giver. One of my students (a girl that lost her mother a year ago and has a father busy doing other things), asked for a ride home one day. She walks a 1/2 mile to school, but that afternoon it was raining, heavily. As we got to talking on our ride home, I made a wrong turn and we ended up at the local food joint across from the school. She asked if I was getting my dinner, and I told her, "No, I am getting yours. I know your dad doesn't get home until late, and I don't want you to walk in the rain to get supper." She was shy in ordering and I insisted she get the bigger meal PLUS a drink. For someone like her, that was a real treat. She doesn't get to do things like that, especially now that her mother has passed away.  As the rain drops poured on the windshield, we waited for her dinner order to cook. We got to talking about her home life and what she wanted to be when she grew up. For that moment in time, I felt my purpose. I understood that for whatever reason, she needed those 10 minutes of love. I knew she wasn't my daughter, but for that moment in time, she was mine to protect. We had a great moment and when I pulled up in her drive way, she gave me a hug and went back to the life she was given. It seemed that with her getting out of the car, her dreams we discussed, dissipated in the wind. I think that day, she realized that she wasn't who she was born into and that's okay.

That last sentence applies to all of us. Sometimes, we do not have the ideal life. Sometimes, we do not even have parents. We aren't who or what we are born in to.....No, we are children of God- we will always have a mother in Our Lady; we will always have a redeemer in Christ. We are designed to love one another, and to feel love through our acts of charity is one great way to show God that during this Lenten season, we are saying "Yes" to his call. Giving up our time, or talent, or treasure to someone that could never repay us, is an unconditional love that we are designed for.

I get asked quite often if I like working at the school I work at (because it is an "inner-city" school "type" of school). Sometimes I am not sure what exactly to say, but most of the time, I reply with something like, "I feel I am being called there to parent. I might not like it some days, and I might love it other days, but it is what I am supposed to be doing."

Somtimes charity can be smiling at that mother at the grocery store that is having a hard time, sometimes charity is giving the homeless man ten dollars, sometimes charity is bringing soup to a friend, but let us not forget, charity, when we feel most helpless, comes in the form of prayer.

Happy Lent Y'all!

-Annie B