SPRINGing back into the swing of things...

• Spring has sprung! I know you all have been wondering if I fell off the face of the Earth, and well, I kind of did! I was very sick for about 6 weeks. I couldn't get over it! Major Sinus infection, which was causing some pretty bad coughing. I was at home for about 12-15 days trying to get better. I went to the doctor 3 times and finally was referred to the E-N-T for allergies and a blocked sinus cavity! I am finally better but realized, "Hey! I've wasted so much time being sick, I haven't done anything productive. For starters, I lost about 5 pounds, just from being sick- but other than that, I didn't lose any weight. Then I was on so much medication that I didn't really eat regularly, so guess what...I didn't take my Metformin. BOOOO! Bad Annie! Last but not least... I didn't work out at all! Now I'm playing catch up and I am so busy getting my house back to normal and my work stuff done, that I am too tired! But there is hope---
• As you might know, I am a teacher and next week is SPRING BREAK! WoooOO HooOOOoo!

• So, I'm taking my days next week to relax and get back into the SPRING of things :0)

• I have got to start walking and eating better. I have to get back on my meds. I always ask myself, "Is it that you don't want a baby?" "No? WELL GET TO WORK MISSY"! After some quiet time this week, I realized what is stopping me....fear (shhhh) I said it in tiny words because I don't want fear to know that it has got the "best of me."If I lose weight guess what has to happen next, every thing that I have been wanting so long. It is kind of like this-
• Is losing weight and getting healthy a choice, or a chore? It is a CHOICE! It isn't like unloading the dishwasher, it isn't like paying the electric bill, it isn't like going grocery shopping. It isn't a chore. It is a choice. And right now, I am deliberately choosing to waste my time because I am scared of failing. I am dedicated enough to finish school and teach 125 10th graders in an inner city school. I am brave enough to live in the same town in which the school I was working at slung my name through the mud when I was innocent. I have enough power to not be ashamed to go to counseling and talk about my problems with people that might one day judge me, so why in the HELL am I scared to lose 10,20,30, Heck 60 pounds? Because it is a choice, but it is a choice to do something I've never EVER done.
• I am so cyclical. I say I am going to do something, I get motivated, then I find excuses when I am stressed or tired. I am A-D-D to my own life. My mom was joking with me the other day saying "You can only focus on one thing at a time, lose weight or work--- but you can't do both." Even though she was joking- SHE WAS RIGHT! I spread myself SO thin to work and relationships, and going and going and going, church, and family, and LIFE that I put ME on the back-burner.
• So, last week I decided it was ME MONTH- Hell, Me YEAR! As the next thing to sign up for at church came up, I didn't sign up. And as this or that friend called to ask me to do something I declined. As I continued to leave work with my "glass empty" I decided that my husband deserved getting some of my energy every night too, so I started leaving with it "half empty."(baby steps)
• I'm taking some "chill time" right now. My teaching partner and I are kicking off the return of Spring Break with Weight Watchers---slow and steady wins the race! I think I am going to start during spring break just to get me feeling better...(she can not, she will be at Disney World!) So, I'm spending some good ol' quality time with Annie B. Ill be checking in soon! I hope all is well with you-- even though I haven't been blogging, I've been a blog stalker and I have been checking in with you!